theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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