White coat. Heels.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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