i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
