I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize