It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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