So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
