did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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