This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
