Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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