You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize