I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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