he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
