i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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