Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.

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  (304): just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter. http://tfl.nu/doob
  Replies (10) Good night (5273) Bad night (494)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

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  (785): i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love. http://tfl.nu/j8m9
  Replies (29) Good night (9678) Bad night (1495)
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  (714): View more from California

  the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester

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  (714): the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester http://tfl.nu/u653
  Replies (10) Good night (9529) Bad night (985)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber

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  (540): there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber http://tfl.nu/88lc
  Replies (10) Good night (3712) Bad night (1197)
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  (510): View more from California

  I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.

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  (510): I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/v2uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (2681)
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  (805): View more from California

  I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.

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  (805): I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly. http://tfl.nu/8ih5
  Replies (45) Good night (10004) Bad night (1303)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.

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  (808): Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful. http://tfl.nu/6ueo
  Replies (10) Good night (2420) Bad night (897)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.

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  (614): They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/swbu
  Replies (24) Good night (1353) Bad night (3528)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us

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  (413): I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us http://tfl.nu/sfif
  Replies (6) Good night (575) Bad night (1046)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home

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  (617): Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home http://tfl.nu/toow
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (977)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.

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  (570): Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window. http://tfl.nu/lqfg
  Replies (10) Good night (395) Bad night (1297)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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  (905): You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot" (1-905): He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka. http://tfl.nu/0kc2
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.

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  (302): This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/72c6
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (337)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.

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  (484): True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/vrl4
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (262)
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  (858): View more from California

  I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs

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  (858): I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs http://tfl.nu/dt4v
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (199)

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