conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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