i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
