Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
