So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
