her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
