he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize