Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
