Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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