my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
