..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
