i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Walk of Shame today included voting.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
