We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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