i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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