Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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