Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Someone shattered a urinal.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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