No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize