I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I stole a fireplace last night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
