I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
