She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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