All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
