I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
