Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
