Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
