he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
