big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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