Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
