i permit you to call me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
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I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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