"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize