Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
