Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
