There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
