It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
