finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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