We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
