Princesses don't give blow jobs
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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