don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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