I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
