physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
