Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
