And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
