Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
